My negligences

Rather affected by these 2 incidents today:

- While me and my helper were bathing An An, Zq was sitting at a corner of the bathroom playing with some plastic containers. Then he came to us and told us "pain pain", we didn't realise what was his "pain" about on the 1st glance. But i saw Dear's shaver on his hand! And to my horror i saw his upper lip was red with blood! Gosh! He must be playing the shaver as if he was shaving, that's how the shaver blade cut his mouth! He saw Dear shaving his moustache and he followed suit. Lucky it was just a minor cut and after we pressed on the cold hanky on his lip, the blood stopped. He didn't cry at all maybe he knew that it was his mischievous to cause this. Though i reminded him sternly never play with the shaver again, but deep down in my heart, i was feeling guilty, i should have pay more attention to him while he was in the bathroom, i should have reminded Dear to keep his shaver better and not so accessible for Zq.

- Evenings are usually hectic time for us. My helper and me have to cook Zq's dinner, feed him, cook our dinner, prepare An An's puree & cereal. While my helper was feeding Zq's dinner and i was busy at kitchen cooking, i left An An in his jumperoo all these while. Hoping that i can faster get my work done so i can play with him for a while before his cereal time. My helper made a mistake in the ingredients that i want to prepare so i got to do the cuttings again and it sure took me longer time. After a while, my helper came to the kitchen and asked me to go and have a look at An An, i got a shock and thought must be something bad happening! My eyes were red when i saw what happened, he was not jumping in his jumperoo but he had fall asleep with his head fall frontway and a puddle of saliva on the seat.. My poor boy, he was tired to jump about and nobody has time for him so he just dozed off himself in his toy. He is always so complacent, very easy baby. Fall asleep without patting, carrying and rocking eversince birth, seldom cries and fuss about. And i am guilty to take his easiness for granted at times.

I am feeling lousy. Though i try to be a good mother for my boys but i didn't do a good job. I am a home-maker and i have all my time with them, but still, i always find that i don't have enough time with both & each of them. Time flies... and i always have a little bit of guilt at the end of the day when i recap what had happened during the day. I am still learning to be a better mum, i hope i can do it better.. I sincerely hope so...